Job 4:14

Terror came upon me,

                And trembling.

Causing all my bones,

                To quake in fear.

 

My friend Steve Toon passed away last week. It was a shock. It was a shock unlike any other death I had experienced. Not because I was any closer to Steve than others, but because Steve was like me.

We met Steve and his family many years ago at our old church. We grew in a Sunday School class with them and shared our lives and concerns with each other as time passed. My family moved on to another church, but the lives that crossed ours during those times are still near and dear to us, and Steve was all wrapped up in those mental relationships.

We heard about Steve during the middle of a party and in the midst of a busy weekend. On the following Monday, I had time to reflect, and I was overwhelmed. I proclaim my Christianity and I seek to live knowing I have the hope of Christ and look forward to an eternity with Him in heaven. But on this particular Monday, I felt I was staring my own death down and these words of Job 4:14 do a fair bit to describe how I felt.

Terror came upon me, And trembling. Causing all my bones, To quake in fear.

One of my recent challenges has been how to integrate my affinity for Astros baseball with my desire to live for Christ. I want to only do things for His benefit, but I am not always sure how the parts of me are aligned with this desire.

How I “amalgamated” these verses:

Terror “won” out over fear and dread in the first stitch, but the differences I experienced on Monday between the three are miniscule at best. Trembling (over a shudder) was a physical reaction not to be overcome as a symptom, but as a necessity.

The second stitch was constant from my Christian sources, whereas my Jewish sources were all different from each other and the Christians (so to speak). I rejected the Christian rendering as too simplistic and did not select the use of limbs over bones or the bones or limbs being gripped by fear or being frightened themselves. My selection matched the first stitch in tone as in most other verses.

 

As I sat on the park bench trembling and quaking and trying to over come the fear and terror, I asked my friends for prayers, gave the decisions and work over to God, and set back about my day knowing He would provide, and that fear and terror are not able to conquer Him.

I still do not know the details of how those parts of me that are useful to God will be used and how those parts of me that are not useful need will be pruned. I will live in Christ, I will hide in God, and I will one day follow Steve. But I know that I can only succeed where I ask God to do more than I can imagine.