Job 10:21

Before I go, never to return,

   To the land of darkness and gloom,

The phrase stealing thunder runs through my head as I plan to use my two readings from today in with this one. From Psalm 76, I saw the phrase “Make vows to the Lord your God and pay them.” I had the paradigm that I was to not make a vow, so this is something new to struggle with. From the daily reading, I read about the Five Onlys – Scripture Alone, Faith Alone, Grace Alone, Christ Along, Glory to God Alone. All truths, but I had not denoted them as lumped together in a academic manner before.

“Go” was also “depart”. “Never to return“ was also “of no return” or “not to return”. The real oddity was that some sources used an additional term of place or whence in this first stitch that I dropped, as did most sources.

“Darkness” was also “deep darkness”, “deep shadow”, and simply “dark” or left off. “Gloom” was also “shadow of death”, “deepest gloom”, and “death gloom”. Deep and death seemed unnecessary and hard to argue.

The little kid asked what I did, and we got deep into a discussion of cylinders and plate, plates and deflections. Each question got it more complicated. I have dealt with these topics so long that I forget others are not familiar with the terms I use. The study of the Bible is the same only more so. There is so much information that the more you study, the more you find there is to learn. I read an article about technology and archeology arguing over whether a dot meant the text was referring to King David or something else entirely. Apparently, the impact of it referring to King David was huge, and people were arguing to make sure it was one way or the other definitively. God has created a world where it is faith alone that works, and nothing can be known for certain by the masses.

I have never studied the life of Martin Luther, but he had a profound impact on the world by calling out the sins of church leaders. For me, he was simply a man following the will of God in his life, and God used him for a big purpose. Some people want to have big impacts on the world from their following God. But I think God is asking us to be satisfied with a tiny impact on ourselves from the joy of following His will without looking forward to an impact. I want to make big promises to God that I will do His bidding, but I know I fail and often. I want to always say, “Here I am, use me.” But I often am busy acting as if I cannot hear Him and praying for Him to not use me. I have heard of people asking for prayers and vowing to do something specific if God answers the way they want. I was tempted to make a promise if the big kid got to school safely. I decided that I had already promised to do the best I can to follow Him, and I could promise no more. But I have made the vow and I need to pay it. And along the way, I need to learn what it means, and how to apply it in terms that both I and those around me can understand. Hopefully, this helps.

(Written 1/18, Posted 1/21, Job 229)