Job 19:1-2
Then Job replied saying:
How long will you torment me,
Crushing me with words?
After I received the results of my blood work from the lab, I wondered how many drugs my doctor was going to offer to fix me. I know that almost all of it is related to not eating well enough and not exercising enough, but some is actually my body not functioning like it should. I need to figure out what aids I need to make up for what my body lacks and what my body needs to keep it going until I actually start eating right and exercising enough. Feels like the same of my whole adult life. Makes me almost want to retire and focus on me.
‘Torment’ was also ‘cause grief’ or ‘vex’, but ‘me’ was ‘my soul’ in the King James. Creating the team that translated the Bible into the King James version will probably have his name last in history longer than any other person besides Jesus.
‘Crushing’ was also ‘breaking into pieces’.
As I sit here staring at various projects that are not moving forward, I wonder how my subconscious decides to actually make me get stuff done. I picture the skill sets of people as a 360-degree wheel with each possible skill sticking out so far from zero to 100. Some people are genius in one area and that spoke is out near the limit. Other people are average and don’t have the one thing, but have a plethora of things that are not pits either. And then there are people who do indeed have no skill in an area and that part of the wheel is like a pit. I used to think that average was that you had something on every spoke. But now, I think most people are closer to a pit in many, many things, and the ‘average’ is only compared to the genius who stick out so far as to be an issue.
As a kid, I could do math better than most and many things better than some. But I also could not do a great many things even competently. I could memorize phone numbers, but I could not be civil to people I did not like. I am still oblivious to most social issues between people, and it hampers most of my relationships greatly. Sometimes I just feel completely inadequate to interact with people.
Once again, this is where my faith comes in. My life is not about my lack of skills interfacing with others, but about my allowing God to use me for His purposes in other peoples’ lives. I, in my own power, would not care about the janitor at school, but I know God does. I know God might call me to be a janitor someday, and then I would look at everyone ignoring me and remember that that was me. And so, I temper my wants and ask God to make it clear when He is calling me to interact with others and not ignore them or crush them with words.
Written 10/19/25, Posted 11/27/25, Job 432/~1070