1 Peter 3:1-7 Revised Standard Version

3 Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, ² when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. ³ Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, ⁴ but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵ So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, ⁶ as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.

⁷ Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.

 

Quick Style

1 – First Impression?

This week instead of reading the Revised Standard to get started, we read the New Living Translation. My impression was that it sounded off. I do not use the New Living Translation for Bible Study, but it does have a certain openness to it. General impression that it was lots more instruction with lots more for men to be responsible for. We did discuss it, and the message to wives certainly applies to the husbands as well.

2 – Why submissive?

The short answer was to be an example. The long discussion was whether it differentiate for the wife who was married to a believer or a nor believer. In the end, we assumed both, but within the realities of the two different situations.

• – Explain Reverent and Chaste Behavior.

As a man, this is behavior that is respectful of the desires of God and the focus of the efforts towards the husband. There is a huge difference between trying to look nice and trying to catch the eye of a man, between letting it all hang out and showing confidence, between making your mate proud and making your mate jealous. Beyond just your motivation, there are choices that reveal your goals.

• – Why not Adorning?

Interestingly enough, the study guide I read made the clarification that adorning is not absolute. It flows back to the response above that the motivation is the key. Having pretty hair is not a sin. Coloring your hair to hide the grey does not have to be defined as evil. Some people push rules to be absolute. The series of novels I am reading are based on three simple rules and just how hard it is to figure out how they interact. The ten commandments sometimes has a part translated “Thou shall not kill.” I never bought into that and always took it as “Thou shall not murder.” Killing and murder are different by definition, but trying to explain the difference can end in argument  between reasonable individuals with no agreement for the extent of their lives. Every case is different, but it all boils down to motivation.

• – Why Hidden?

I am confused. If we are to be this great person, why is it to be hidden? I want people to be confident in their relationship to God and to wear it as a badge of honor. “I am here to do good.” I am not sure where the hidden aspect is to be.

• – Explain Gentle and Quiet spirit?

I see this as the person who does not lose there cool when circumstances turn for the worse. Not yelling at the kids, not honking at the idiot who almost hit you, turning the other cheek. I work on this and I try to project it, but mainly because it is so hard.

• – Explain Do right and let nothing terrify you.

I focused on the wife here and tried to understand why she would not be terrified of anything her unbelieving husband could dish out. Having daughters, that seem too much to ask. There is a common daddy side that leans towards ending the life of anyone who harms their daughter, but I am sure God does not want His children to be abused. There is a line here and I guess having the courage to leave requires not being terrified.

• – Explain likewise.

The group focus here was that for everything God just told the wives to do, then men have to do the same, and then even more. The list for the men does not stop here, it continues on. It is more because men and women are wired differently and we are to be a team and each member has different skills and responsibilities. Some are physical, some are emotional. None make us better or worse, only different.

• – How do you Live Considerately?

I project the image of the big strong football player making accommodations for the tiny 90 pound weakling. In high school we did not have 300 pound linemen like they do today, but our biggest guys were more than twice the size of the little guys. The expectation was that you took advantage of your size to win the game, but not to injure the other player. Kind of like “professional” wrestling. Those actors probably have the size, strength, and skills to kill, yet they orchestrate the flow to thrill the crowd and minimize injuries to even the most hated rivals. This living considerately is just a hint of the grace a man is to show his wife.

• – How do you Bestow Honor?

This was a personal question for the guys, and it showed we each have a lot of improvement to make in how we treat our wives and how intentional we are about it. My example was vacations, so it can be in many, many ways.

• – Explain Joint Heir?

My take on this was that beyond the individual personal relationships we each have with God, as believers, once we are married, our lives are intertwined (one flesh) and our paths are not paths but one path. My life has too much “together, but separate” and it is something I need to improve on, especially as the girls age.

• – Explain Life of Grace?

It’s 8:55 and I am fading, but if my memory serves, the intent here was to be aware of the freedom to fail while trying and the ability to live knowing victory is ours.

• – What does Prayer may not be hindered mean?

 When I have really messed up and my wife is mad at me, it is very hard to ignore it and move on. If I am focused on how I messed up or trying to figure out how I messed up, I cannot focus on praying for others or even other personal matters. How can I expect God to bless me when I have done something selfish that damages the other part of my “one flesh”? This is almost a subtle reminder to work as a team. It is hard to be married. It is probably harder to go it alone. So if it is all hard, we should know “easy” is just a trap Satan is trying to use.

We must be a team with a common goal and respect our differences, even relying on them.