Job 9:21

I am blameless,

   I am distraught,

      I am despised of life.

 

A friend told me yesterday that I looked rested. I think it was because I got a little sun over the weekend and my face is not as pale as normal. I grew up in West Texas and feel I had a diverse set of cultures to be impressed by along the way. My number one impression set was from the relatively high regard for Native Americans or Indians as they were known back then, the area had in general. The tribes that lived in that area were pretty scrapy to survive out there and it lent a certain respect to them for having done so. While not my favorite, the military culture of the Air Force base had a huge impact on me especially the balance between the positive and negative impacts of service. One that I do not remember every really being out front was the positive impact of the Buffalo soldiers who were named by the Indians and made up of black soldiers. I am still not politically correct enough to know the right terms for people groups as everyone is either a Christian I can encourage or a non-Christian I can witness to, and you cannot tell them apart from looking. The fourth group was the large Hispanic community in the area. Their food was so much better than what my mom cooked in some fashion that was not really better only different. My mom made tacos and fajitas, but they were not the same as the real things at all. The last group was everybody else. I am not sure I had any friends who were actual members of a tribe, but I had no idea the animosity between people just because of skin color until I was older. Not really sure what this has to do with Job, but I remember spending so much time in the sun that I was darker than some from many of the other cultures in town.

“Blameless” was also “good” and “perfect”, but it was so obviously blameless that I never thought twice.

“Distraught” was different. Sources had “do not know myself”, “have no concern myself”, “would not know my soul”, and “beside myself”. I picked distraught, but probably only because I felt I understood it better than the other options. I almost see a path from distraught to beside myself to do not know myself to have no concern for myself to do not know my own soul, a slippery slope so to say.

“Despised of” was “loathe my”, “sick of”, “hate my”, and “despise (myself)”. Something in despised felt more in tune with the passage than the others.

Job was not a happy man. He felt he was doing his best and it just was not good enough. I assume almost everyone feels like this even if only occasionally. I never feel blameless, but I often want to think I have done well enough to deserve something more. I have not ever felt myself sliding down the slippery slope, but I can identify with being distraught over the things happening around me. I cannot identify with being despised of life.

I read this verse and I do not see me. I do not want to of course, but I feel a gap between me and Job on this one. My relationship to God includes some gift He gave me that has me never doubting my desire to keep moving forward even when things seem less that good enough. I see media and entertainment present people that can directly identify with Job. Sometimes their negative life is based on the prejudices and suffering from the differences in culture or skin color or religion that cause many people to hate and act upon the hate that is in their hearts. I cannot really understand how it happens, but I know even believing Christians sometimes do not treat “others” as they should. It is not a problem with God, but of the sin nature still in each of us.

A thought that just passed through my head is the opposite. I am a white male. I am probably even one of those White Anglo Saxon Protestant (or WASP) that was pictured as so full of hate and evil back in the day. So, while I may be oblivious to the skin color, race religion, sexual orientation, gender, or any other isolating identifier, when I behave poorly, there may be a high probability that other people think I am being racist or sexist or whatever offensive term there is for their group. But in reality, I am just being rude because of a failure on my part, not an active response to any of these isolating identifiers. I probably treat people openly carrying weapons a little better than those who do not, but in general I am an equal opportunity offender.

And I assume this is the point. We should always treat others well. Not because we care about them or how they feel about us, but because we represent Christ to them whether we want to or not. I do not want to be like Mike and be a role model to every kid who can see a basketball. But for every kid I run across, I am a representative of Christ. That is an even bigger burden and sometimes I drop it completely. My goal is to drop it into the hands of Christ and allow Him to let me love my life, to be the opposite of distraught, and to walk as blameless as possible. To be the opposite of Job 19:21.

 

(Written 9/1, Posted 9/8, Job 193)