Job 4:15

A spirit passed before my face,

   The hair on my skin stood on end.

 

The day I wrote this was the same as game 6 of the 2021 World Series and the Astros just gave up another big homer in the beginning of a game. I have changed the last two years. Two years ago, I was sitting at the game 6 of the 2019 World Series hoping the Astros could win a second World Series. Tonight, I am at home not watching the game and only sure I care because of the bet I put down when we went to Vegas. I did not put down enough to make a difference, so I barely care. Another 36 hours at most and the season is over at a minimum. Of course, it is not just me that has changed, it is a whole world of changes that add up to a new reality. Baseball is just not fun anymore.

Our Declaration of Independence says we have the right to pursue happiness. My past mind associated that with the American Dream in some fashion. Today I do not want to pursue happiness. I want to be full of joy, and I know the outward circumstances of the world cannot produce that feeling. The hyper aggressive driver who almost caused an accident last night definitely did not create a sense of happiness in my mind. I was so dumbfounded by his actions, I could not even be mad for a long time. My hair definitely stood on end. I was thankful/joyful that I was watching him and avoided contact, but not happy.

Growing up I learned to like watching baseball, football, and basketball. The other sports never really made it to the interested list. Now basketball has long pushed me aside for a different audience. The NFL made the final push this last year and I actually had on NASCAR this past Sunday to avoid football. And now, I have made it through a year and only watched two regular season games and less postseason games on tv than I physically went to. Near as I can tell, at the latest tomorrow, I will soon be done with baseball too.

Amalgamation Notes:

In place of spirit, I could have chosen from “wind” or “gust”, but spirit seemed the intent. Passed before won out over “glided past” and “crossed” with no real difference noted. Skin was chosen over “flesh” and “body” as flesh seemed too gruesome and body too inaccurate. Stood on end won over bristle only because they mean the exact same thing, but I did not have to look up stood on end to see what it meant.

This whole passage of Eliphaz’s dream reminds me of a spooky Halloween story. Something to scare the kids, but it looks just plain silly to an adult in the day light. In my mind, it is the poet poking fun at the old people who just do not get it.

I now have to wonder if I am the old person who just does not get something. I collect baseball cards of a sport I no longer like and a team I no longer care for. I do focus on cards from 2004 to 2014; harkening back to before the run of success the team is on. A card I have wanted since 2013 came up for bid today. My bid was so low the auctioneer blocked me from bidding again. I figured the card was only worth 5% of the asking price. Any more certainly would not have made me a happy winner. I kinda hope the guy has the market right. If so I have a whole lot of cards that will be hitting the market. That is if I can figure out how to not be happy when I do get a card I have been waiting 8 years on at a price I like.

I can be joyful, happy or not, so I probably ought to shoot for joyful and put happiness as a goal only in the sense that I help make other people’s lives better. Maybe the spirit can be a spirit of happiness and my hair can bristle from making others happy.