FAANG is something that I mentally align with “snake”. I would not doubt that the person that came up with it wanted a negative connotation. Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, and Google are five of the biggest and most influential technology companies in the world. They are all US based and have operations spread across the globe. I have used each of them daily at some point. Twitter is not on that list but has had a big influence on my understanding of Big Tech through this past election cycle.

The book I am going through made mention of cutting things out of your life and after a couple cuts, I am trying to figure out what to do with some resources and Facebook came to mind.

When I first got on Facebook, I obviously knew very little about its usefulness to me and even less about how Facebook used my data. I added people I barely knew as friends and posted whatever seemed reasonable. I knew nothing about privacy or fake accounts or many of the pitfalls of Facebook. Since then, I have accidentally friended a non-person, seen a fake account pretending to be my mom after she died, and seen all the stories of people losing jobs from poor thought-out posts, and worse. I also have seen the targeted ads.

So, when I started on Facebook, a Facebook Friend meant anyone I knew that did not work in my industry. I also posted everything as public not knowing any other option. I eventually changed so that only “friends and friends of friends” could see my posts, and finally changed to only my friends.

I eventually realized I had people I did not like as Facebook Friends. I never really used it a lot, but I remember being offended by a post and realizing I did not even like that person and unfriended them. (And let us be clear, I did not dislike them, I just did not like them enough to call them my friend. And it was not one of those political dump type things; just something offensive in general.)

Somewhere along this same timeframe I realized I had lost a real friend and struggled how to align my Facebook account with that fact. Eventually I went through a purge of every “friend” who I did not like. So, at that point Facebook Friend meant anyone I knew and liked and of course who would be friends with me and did not work in my industry. I did accidentally delete someone I should not have, and they did not re-friend me when I sent a new request. I realized that other people might have issues with me defriending them, so I stopped purging for a while.

So along came Twitter or at least I joined. Really it was about a baseball card that someone had that I wanted. There was only one and this was the only way I found to reach them. So, I was on Twitter. I ignored Twitter for a while, but eventually had a few friends on there and got some news from there about the Astros and about politics. By this time, there was more negativity around FAANG and their global reach and I was paying more attention. The filth and vitriol on Twitter eventually pushed me away no matter how I could use it. I wrapped up my last twitter card acquisition and deleted the app and moved on.

But along this Twitter path I realized I was not using Facebook in the way I wanted and so I went back to my purge. This time my definition of Facebook Friend became someone I would like to see posts I make about my kids. So now that I had the wellbeing of my kids included in the mix, I deleted more accounts that did not meet the new criteria. This rule meant I had no other restrictions. This one was enough.

In the past I occasionally would look at suggested friends and add more or at least try to. And ever so often I would even receive a friend request. At some point I tweaked the meaning of Facebook Friend one more time. This last piece was a little more difficult to wrap my head around as it was not so much about Facebook itself as about real life interactions.

In my accountability group we use a question about whether we have been in a compromising position with a woman who is not our spouse. The “rule” was originally developed to protect pastors from accusations about sexual misconduct and it is very important for them. We are not pastors and the question is not a rule, but something to make us aware of possible perceptions. But I decided that I had no need to be a friend to everyone and have made a new rule. As simply as I could make it, I will not add friends who are women who I am not family friends with. (I know that has lots of room in it, but sometimes words do not capture ideas simply.)

In reality, I like the idea of abandoning Facebook altogether. I took it off my phone and access it only through the web. I deleted messenger and as many other Facebook apps as I could (except WhatsApp that has a place in my everyday work and family communications).

I keep Facebook for two reasons. To see what my friends are up to and to share my blogs. With my blog a part of my Facebook reality, I still must determine if my rules about Facebook friends line up with the goals of my blogging. I want to use my blog to serve God and I want to use Facebook to see things about my family and friends, but I am never sure about where the line between protecting my family and relying on God’s protection puts my actions. I trust Him, but He gave me a brain. So I will continue to “Live and Learn” and tweak what my definition of Facebook Friend is…