Job 19:3
Ten times now you have insulted me,
Are you not ashamed to wrong me?
Ten was the number for completeness. Job had seven sons and three daughters for a total of ten, and completeness. Maybe today will be my tenth time of trying to do better, and I will complete that aspect of my tasks. One of the baseball cards I want is limited to ten, and I have missed each one that has come up on ebay as they each passed my dollar limit at that pint in time. My limit has changed with each miss, but someone else keeps going higher (even six weeks later). But this chase may be done just short of the goal.
One source had ‘time and again’ rather than ten. ‘Insult’ was also ‘cast reproach’, ‘humiliate’, and ‘shamed’.
‘Wrong’ was also ‘attack’, ‘make yourselves strange’, ‘abuse’, ‘treat me coldly’, and ‘spurn’. ‘Ashamed’ was also ‘not blush’ or ‘shamelessly’.
I watched church on tv yesterday. Mainly as my back was ailing, but also to reassess the impact of the music on me and how prepared I was for the sermon once it started. I must admit I want to sing hymns like we used to do in church. (Country song lyric reference.) I probably do not really want to be in a church where they do sing hymns as much as I want to be in a church where it feels like God is actively being followed. I know my pastor is seeking after God and that should be enough to overcome the loud, seemingly meaningless music.
My mentor said he would laugh at me if I wore my hunting hearing protection to worship and he saw me. I told him they didn’t make it feel like worship, so I wasn’t going to even try again. But I did realize today that if the sermon is too loud, I might wear them anyway. I don’t need to feel like I am not in a tunnel to listen to the sermon effectively.
When I first decided to try the hunting hearing protection, I was balancing the fact that I did not care that others might try to insult me and the fact that I was protesting how loud it was. Now I know that my protest is meaningless and that I do not really care if anyone wants to insult me. Now I also know that whether someone feels shame over wanting to insult me is not my issue. I want to be in church for me and not the people around me. During worship I want to focus on God, and I can focus on others afterwards.
Written 10/20/25, Posted 12/1/25, Job 433/~1070