Job 20:11
His bones, stuffed with youthful sin,
Lie rotting with them into dust.
God has been repeatedly telling me that the stress I feel with my new role is more of my making than of actual things to stress about. (Even today weeks after writing this.) I have had a number of different themes around these lessons, but I have to pray that He also provides strength to be a duck. I used to be a duck and would let whatever my mother or sister did not impact me and just roll off my back. It was a defense mechanism, and it helped me sorta, but it did not help those relationships.
‘Sin’ was also ‘vigor’, ‘secret sin’, or left off to be simply ‘youth’ in the stitch. ‘Stuffed’ was also ‘full’ the other seven times.
The variations in the second stitch were subtle, but I chose to have his sins lie rotting with his bones instead of with him.
One of my problems with driving has traditionally been to go as fast as is reasonable. Which is really too fast for the normal person. I have had a decent bit of training and a lot of practice, so I handle the odd issue pretty well. But it forces God to really take care of me and prevent the really bad issue from occurring. My travel for this role has forced or enabled me to slow down and drive like an old man. He is still working on me while in Houston traffic.
When I was in high school, I thought life was better than junior high and before. College was better, but my thoughts on high school were unchanging in the yearbook. I have a spot in my heart for many of the people I grew up with, but I have only kept up with one really. I have a paradigm that reconnecting with some other would be great and nostalgic, but I also have an inkling it might open old wounds. As a duck, I was probably insensitive to everyone around me and not just the main two.
After reading this verse, I just want to let my youthful sins lie rotting in the dust all by themselves as I live a life forgiven by God. I pray that He gives me opportunities to influence others in a positive manner, but I struggle with how much I need to do to enable those connections. We have a 40th high school reunion supposedly happening this year and I am torn as to whether I want to go or I want to be unable to go. As with everything I am waiting for the sign so clear even I can see. I have been getting pretty good at asking, so hopefully I can get better at seeing.
Written 2/7/26, Posted 3/31/26, Job 469/~1070