Job 20 :19

He has forsaken, indeed crushed, the poor,

   Seized houses rather than build his own.

 

New month, new level of expectations, and more need to depend on God. Last night we went to the rodeo cook off and for the first time ever, we got there before the crowds. I was fine for a while, but I eventually got overwhelmed with the touching, bumping, pushing, and all that goes with so many people in such a small place. Weird that when they finally played our favorite country slow dancing crowd that it all got better, but I had to twice walk away and sit down away from everyone. Hard for me to talk to others when I can’t hear and don’t want to press my ear against their face.

‘Forsaken’ was also ‘abandoned’, ‘left destitute’, and ‘tortured’. Tortured did not seem to fit, but it was in two of my Jewish sources. ‘Crushed’ was also ‘oppressed’.

‘Seized’ was also ‘stole’, ‘took’, and emphasized by ‘violently’.  ‘Rather’ was also left off leaving ‘seized houses that he did not build’.  

I have been going so fast, I am not sure I have mentioned this recently or not, but our church is starting the next phase of financial commitments to allow for meeting expanding needs our church is trying to meet. I have personal heartburn over giving the church a number that God may provide through our family. I understand the needs for such commitment to get bank loans, but on a personal level, I just have always not wanted to ask God for any amount and just have faith that he will meet our needs, and we will give that portion He calls for of what He provides.

I did actually sit down and figure out what we might be able to give based on what we might get. It is more than I could ever expect and our phrase has been, we’ll believe it when it’s in the bank. The church will get its part once it gets to us, but there is just a gap in my mind between being a steward of what God provides and ‘committing’ to some number that is beyond my ability to reach. Speaking something I do not know to be true seems to be a lie.

Speaking of lying, I was thinking through forgiving others and somehow ended up on my mother’s actions. At the end of the process, I realized that no matter how strongly she felt that what she did was right, it was all based on not telling me the truth, and therefore a lie, and therefore in conflict with God’s command not to lie. It was a sin, but I forgive her. Every time it comes up, I forgive her again.

I am watching the commitment Sunday service, and they are showing the early commitment thing I missed last week since I was not committing. I am sad I missed it, but I have to be consistent with what God is calling me personally to do. I know that it will be different from what others are called to do, but my relationship to this group is based on my personal relationship to God. We must stand on what we believe. Even if we learn later we might have not got it right.

Written 3/1/26, Posted 4/20/26, Job 477/~1070