Job 21:10

Their bulls breed, without fail,

   Their cows calve, without miscarriage.

This verse from the mouth of Job speaks about how our enemies always seem to have success. They do things we have done or could have done and are successful while we ran into trouble. They might also have the same struggles, but just not share them to make themselves look better. Probably how everything is great on Instagram or Facebook until someone’s life falls apart.

While a few words may have been different, the message was clear. I did look up cow to make sure that was the right word.

My emotions are on a roller coaster, and everything is great or terrible in a fantastic way. My hormones are probably out of whack, and I need to get them under control. My circumstances are not changing, but my behavior sure is. I have made thousands of decisions to help, but I still feel what I feel.

I started reading Revelation today for my chapter a day. Therefore, I will finally complete this read through the Bible when I finish the book in 22 days or so. It will have taken a really long time by the time I finish as I skip this step on days when I have Bible Study, Accountability, or go to Church. The goal is time with God more than finishing.

My job these days is a challenge. I want to do the best I can as I am working for God, but I have realized I am powerless in my role. I want to help the various people or groups that I am working with, but the success is predicated on their decisions. I know that I work on other things and rely on God for outcomes, but I trust God. I do not trust these people even to not make bad decisions. My mind has determined to continue to follow God and do the best job I can, but my emotions are still responding. I pray that I can release this drive for outputs that I have no control over. (Funny how well praying works as I look back at this about a month later.)

Written 5/2/26, Posted 6/11/26, Job 496/~1070