Job 21:9

Their homes are secure, without fear,

   No rod of God comes upon them.

I have an anger problem. At one point, I assumed it was due to low testosterone. Now, I think it might be due to low vitamin D. I haven’t been as diligent about taking the vitamin D, but I’m beginning to think it isn’t physical.

‘Homes’ was also ‘house’. ‘Secure’ was also ‘safe’.

‘Upon’ was also ‘against’, ‘over’, and something about not feeling it.

I spent the whole day yesterday mad. I knew I was mad, I knew why I was mad, I was justified in being upset, but I could not shake it no matter how hard I tried. I wrote it all out, I ate, I walked, I tried to distract myself, and in the end, I was still mad. I probably missed the chance to get some cards I wanted due to my anger.

I have been working on hiding my anger from coworkers. I am not doing really well, but I am at least shielding them from the worst. I want to not be angry, and I think about ways to not be so engaged, but it is an emotion and is my response when things do not go the way I think they should. I want to try and change my expectations, but even changing expectations for myself has seemed impossible.

As I look back on this verse, I denote that people want security, and these wicked people have it. My only security comes from knowing Christ, and that is more than enough. The wicked do not get the rod of God reminds me that the rod is used to discipline, to correct. If they are not getting the rod, then they are not being loved by God. I know God is trying to correct something in me, but I am so far clueless about how to get past this. I’ll keep listening and maybe I will find it sooner rather than later.

Written 4/28/26, Posted 6/9/26, Job 495/~1070