Job 16:22
For only a few years were yet to come,
I would go the way of no return.
As I mature, I sometimes wonder how my failings growing up hurt those around me. Especially before our confirmation trip at the age of twelve, I spent effort doing the things the kids around me were doing. I know I was mean to girls that I did not find attractive, chased the girls I did, picked on almost all the boys, and probably let all the praise for being ‘smart’ go to my head. My many faults were not so obvious on the elementary playground.
The first stitch has many of the same words in each source but has them jumbled in order to give different meanings. One type is ‘shortly in the future’ and the other is ‘I don’t have long to live.’ The final jumble I used carries mostly the second idea, but maybe not well.
The second stitch is also mostly a jumble, but the only idea is that ‘he will go and not return.’ The point missing seems to be that Job would gladly walk away if he were old and near death, but he is still young and eager to live.
When I got to junior high, I was aware of my Christianity and the lack of it in some others, but my behavior was not impacted by the seismic shift that I have heard older converts discuss. The only real change was to avoid the boys who might create danger from alcohol, drugs, gangs, poor decisions, crime, etc. I was more inspired by the idea of being a good example rather than a good influence. My faults might not have been any more obvious to me, but others around me surely noticed a lack of maturity.
High school. I have seen my kids complain about it, and I have seen them do great things for their faith. I was of course still the poor kid trying to not stand out, but high school was fun, and I enjoyed it. My faith was mostly on Sunday morning and Sunday night, but I was still focused on not doing wrong vs doing right. I was still super naïve and know that God was watching out for me, but I know I made a mess of relationships and missed many opportunities for sharing.
Undergrad. The phrase ‘rinse and repeat’ comes to mind.
Grad School. My faith blossomed during this time and my behavior got better, but beyond trying to not pick on anyone and not be mean to anyone, there was a lot of improvement still possible.
Fast forward to today? I still struggle to be my best with everyone regardless of their characteristics. I still struggle to be active in sharing God’s love with everyone. I still strive to be a good example and avoid evil, but forgiveness is not my first line of action, and action still takes a far back seat to just watching. So, starting today, I will strive to refrain from using my old triggers for what to do and strive to seek the input of the Holy Spirit to guide my actions. So just like every day since I was twelve, only better.
Written 8/25/25, Posted 9/10/25, Job 395/~1070